13 Perfectly Honest Valentine’s Day Cards

slideshow_1Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

Whether you’re telling someone you don’t like their outfit or you love them more than kittens, sometimes it’s better to just get to the point. Emily McDowell’s greeting cards prove that there are charming ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day — without all the Hallmark-y mush.

Some of these love notes are part of a larger set of 20 cards that the artist just released, covering everything from a belated happy birthday to failure to baby and wedding congratulations.

Because nothing says “I love you” quite like, “Are you wearing that?”

square_nrm_1421344493-225c_loveyouwearingthat_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421344526-187-c-and-they-said-it-wouldnt-last-card_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421343534-143c_thankyouforlovingme_web_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421343576-147-c-i-love-your-stupid-face-card_a0444bcd-09c3-4f74-936f-067fff8bb030_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421343612-226c_assminevalentine_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421343646-231cdefinitionofdivorcecard_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_nrm_1421343998-208-c-look-at-my-phone-card_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421344024-188-c-amazing-friend-valentine-card_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421344055-189-c-dating-some-idiot-valentine-for-your-single-friend-card_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421344084-149-c-love-pie-chart-card_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421344107-227-c-new-red-love-shit-card_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421343801-246csobatyourweddingcard_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

square_nrm_1421343960-224c_presenceinmypants_1024x1024Emily McDowell / Cosmopolitan

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Super Bowl commercials 2015: Budweiser Clydesdales search for ‘Lost Dog’

imrsAnheuser-Busch / The Washington Post

Remember the adorable squiggly puppy that teamed with a Clydesdale to win the hearts of Super Bowl viewers in last year’s “Puppy Love” commercial for Budweiser?

Anheuser-Busch / The Washington Post

Well, he or she and the horses are back only this time in “Lost Dog,” the impish lil pup has gotten him/herself into a pickle by running off. That scamp.

The horse whisperer/Clydesdale trainer/rancher guy posts “Lost Dog” (sniff, sniff) signs and, of course, the guy gets himself into real peril.
It looks bad, real bad.

Anheuser-Busch / The Washington Post

But you know the deal. It’s never that grim in a Bud commercial about buds. There’s an emotional, happy reunion, a sappy song…win!

The critters are already ahead of the game because of a frenzy that was erroneously stirred up last fall when there was buzz that Anheuser-Busch would replace them with an ad featuring Jay Z and zombies. Oh, the new approach will be there, but the critters were never going anywhere.

“The Budweiser Clydesdales have appeared in our Super Bowl ads for nearly three decades. They continue to serve as time-honored symbols of how we brew our beer: remarkable care and attention, sparing no expense, the highest quality and consistency,” Brian Perkins, a Budweiser vice president, said in a statement on the Anheuser-Busch site. “This year, they will live up to their reputation and once again save the day in a heartwarming story about best buds never letting you down.”

Here’s the 2014 “Puppy Love” ad (over 55 million YouTube views and counting).

And, while you’re sniffling away, you might as well watch 2013′s “Brotherhood.”

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