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If things like Snapchat updates really frickin’ concern you, then the most recent update essentially proves how much of a snitch Snapchat is.
Some time ago, Snapchat disabled users’ ability to view their friend’s best friends list. Which was probably the app’s most amicable move since its launch. Cheating boyfriends and girlfriends everywhere rejoiced; paranoid significant others flipped.
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Oh, but cry no longer, paranoid significant others, stalkers, and people with trust issues: Today Snapchat has decided to return to its relationship-ruining ways by using emojis.
It’s literally like Snapchat brought back the feature to show which cheaters took advantage of the update.
1. The Yellow Heart
This means that you’re both each other’s No. 1 best friend. Aw.
Now this is a sign for a proposal if I’ve ever seen one. You’re basically meant to be.
2. The Gritting Teeth Emoji
Essentially this is a call for war, folks. If you see this, it means that you and one of your friends share the same No. 1 best friend.
A classic example of Snapchat’s passive-aggressive snitching.
3. The Smiling Emoji
So you’re on their best friends list but not the No. 1 best friend.
AKA, the worst thing ever. Duh. And this smiley face is basically Snapchat giving you the middle finger; you won’t know who the mystery No. 1 friend is.
4. The Sunglasses Emoji
This means that you share a best friend with one of the people on your best friend lists.
So, like, either yay for mutual friends or boo your partner is cheating on you with your best friend of 10 years (most likely the case).
5. The Smirk Emoji
This means that you are on that person’s best friends list, but they aren’t on yours.
So now you instantly feel superior to them as a human being. Thanks, Snapchat. Because we didn’t have enough egomaniacs already.
6. The Fire Emoji
What better way to convey growing sexual tension via a picture-sending app than the fire emoji? The number next to the fire is the number of days you and the person have been consistently snapping.
If you see this next to one of your Snapchat friends, it basically means you and this person are destined for each other. Like, get ready because something is going to happen.
7. But wait — there’s more:
As if these emojis weren’t already traumatic enough to your inner psyche and deep trust issues, Snapchat is really going to push you over the edge.
Now there is a feature on the app that basically tempts you to send snaps to people you haven’t talked to in a while, conveniently listed on a “need love” list.
So, basically, plan on your boyfriend or girlfriend talking to their ex and dumping you, your best friend talking to your archenemy and never speaking to you again, and your dog not loving you anymore.
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